Because I was built before the dawn of time, I am able to provide a few 'perks' to my inhabitants:
With my old walls, spiders have no trouble getting into the lush carpet I provide. They especially like this corner (where you can now find 25 corpses) of the home which sits adjacent to the garden. Unfortunately The Fanchers (especially Jayme) dislike spiders and bombed the house monthly. RIP my friends.
Because it is likely that my walls to not have insulation, the house will self-adjust its temperature to the outdoor temp. In the summer I can reach record highs of 90, and in the winter... well... you should bring a coat.
If you like the cottage feel, I am it! With cabinets that almost shut and a leaky window, I am quaint as could be.
2- Small and mighty (is this a section title... or a caption for the following photo?)
Though my square footage is most likely less than your IQ, I have been the temporary home to ma
ny:
Barbaras fish, RIP
Two semi-poisonous frogs (just don't lick them!)
Dexter, the wonder dog
Barbara, the temp roomie
Kevin, the wedding helper
Momma Oswald, the great
Jack Bauer themed TV nights
Kittens aka "Jordan's Kids"
Cheesecake bake-offs (thanks Barbara for allowing my tiled floor to partake)
Gift storage for the wedding
3- Smokey said that even I can prevent forest beach fires
My smoke alarms are in keen working order! Every time you cook, or even think about cooking, I will sound my alarm to let you know that I am here to help! Quick!! Turn on the fan and open the door!
4- Come all yee weary
My neighbors are the best! They really know how to have a good time! If you're looking for a place to go and it's 2am and you've just paid your tab at one of the classy OB joints (Lucy's, Catalina Lounge, Macs) you can come enjoy one of our joints... literally.... on any neighbors front porch. If they're not smokin' that night, perhaps you'd like to play a game of late night darts, beer pong, or just stare at the stars. Beer bottles need not be picked up, the "OB recycling crew" will take care of it.
During the day, the neighbors will frequently throw lawn parties (or even block parties) where you can drink from 7am until you can no longer read your clock. Since no one in OB seems to work, this can occur on any day with nominal amounts of sunshine.
5- Today's Special!
Like some restaurants I offer daily parking specials. If you're lucky enough to find a spot within 6 blocks of your home, congrats. Upon parking, be sure to check out my daily parking special. On Wednesdays and Fridays of each week, I offer street sweeping parking fines starting at 7am! If it's the first week of the month, there are also specials offered on all streets based on the day of the week. Your $40 fine will go towards making my roads better, don't you feel good about that?
6- Port-a-potie
No one likes having to pick up after their pet, and that's the beauty of OB. Since I have a lawn, feel free to bring your dogs by for a bit of relief. Especially if you live right next door! In fact, bring them daily!
Note: none of those little piles belong to Dexter... his are on the other neighbors lawn.... jk.... sort of.... Well, at least his are practically microscopic so it doesn't reallllly count.
Wait! Those feeling especially welcome by my green pastures can also feel free to stop and take a sunbathing nap on me!
7- Walk it out!
I am centrally located near some of San Diegos most unique cousine. During the summer, and into the winter (before Jayme's bones started to get cold), Danny and Jayme enjoyed walking to such luxery dining options as Rite-Aid Ice Cream Parlor (guests were always welcome), The Blue Parrot Bar and Grill, Hodads, Newport Pizza and Ale House, and anywhere else that they found coupons for (with the occassional splurge/no coupon visit). For Jayme's birthday Kevin, Barbara, Jayme and Danny walked to the beach and enjoyed one of the most spectacular firework displays ever. On the fourth o' July they also witnessed a 'free hot dog' stand and their first OB marshmellow fight, which is seriously worth youtube'ing if you haven't seen one for yourself! Not to mention some interesting slip n' slide activity!
8- The love nest
As Jim Oswald called me. I was the first home of Danny and Jayme Fancher! I was also the place where family and friends gathered to celebrate the occassion of their marriage. I remember that at one point there were about 20 people and a dog squeezed into the living room. In fact, Jim and Jayme practiced their father-daughter dance for the wedding just behind my fence.
Goodbye Cape May, we'll miss you.... a little.....
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